it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
