Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize