god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
