A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Boobs are out for the taking
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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