So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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