Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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