Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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