just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
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We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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