I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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