He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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