question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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