Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
