Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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