..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
