This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
