I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
