i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
