so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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