And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
