so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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