is your mom at the bar?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
