I puked a lego.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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