dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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