we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
