its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Liz is crying about burritos again.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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