Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Randomize
