Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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