I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i just google imaged poop.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
