Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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