just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
