He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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