I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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