This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
