You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
When did angry sex become our thing?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
