please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
