overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
