Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
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I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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