i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
