You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
