i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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