The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Life is so much better after having sex.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
