It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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