this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
