after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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