Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
