had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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