you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
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