she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
