There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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