Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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