All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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