There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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