he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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