Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
