you would pick up someone in the library
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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