My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize