i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
