im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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