This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
