I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
