This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
sarcasm needs its own font
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
