You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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