You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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