dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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