His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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