Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
