you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
