I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
