We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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