i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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