Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize