never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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