I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I'm really busy with my period
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