I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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