Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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