There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
