i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
