Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
